id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
