Ketchup is God's man juice
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
