he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
