shes about as inviting as chlamydia
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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