The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
