I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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