I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
