i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
