Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
