I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
