I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
