tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
