You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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