I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
