i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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