maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
