Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
