Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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