There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
