Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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