So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
