Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
