On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
