Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Randomize
