I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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