Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
