my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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