if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize