Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
This baby is an asshole
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
