so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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