ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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