ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
