That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
