Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
