You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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