I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
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