belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
