whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
