I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
