I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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