"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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