if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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