1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
thus making me awesome and them whores
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
This is the high leading the old right now
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
