guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
It was confusing and full of hummus
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize