Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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