Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize