I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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