He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize