He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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