Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
