im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
