lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
