Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
