I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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