I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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