so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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