Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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