nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
