you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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