it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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