so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
