and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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