anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
