so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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