Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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