I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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