last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
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